When it comes to talking about the bosses of SoulsBorne there tends to be varying opinions, I think most of us can agree on who is near the bottom of the pile and who is near the top of the food chain but there are always little pieces we either love or hate about the fight that may cause it to top your list excellence, or top your list of just plain awful. Today I am going to talk about a boss that very much tops my list of absolute garbage (not a huge list), I have a feeling many may agree with me in calling this the worst boss the soulsBorne series has to offer as it is poor in every sense of the word.
Usually when I do a post about a boss I tend to discuss the background and lore of the boss first followed by the fight itself with my thoughts on it, today however I will be talking about the boss fight alone. My reason for this is that the character behind the boss does have some brilliant lore and doesn’t deserve to be in a post where I’m going tear the boss fight apart. If that hasn’t given away the boss I am going to discuss (destroy…) then wonder no longer, my personal pick for the worst boss in SoulsBorne is….. The Bed of Chaos.
I’m sure that even if you have a different choice for the worst boss (true king Allant, Belfry Gargoyles perhaps) you can understand why I have placed The Bed of Chaos at the bottom. Let me lay out my reasons for this choice,
1. It is a poor representation of the Witch of Izalith
2. Dark Souls became Platform Souls
3. It is a pain in the ass to get to
4. When you actually reach the “boss” it is a bug that is killed in a single hit
Are those reason enough do you think? The Witch will get a post all to herself as she has some incredible lore and is a crucial character to the story, perhaps that is my biggest grind with The Bed of Chaos, it is the Witch of Izalith boss fight, she was one of the lords meaning she really should have had an incredible fight, a memorable one. Well perhaps that’s not fair, it is memorable, just for all the wrong reasons. What happened to her, her daughter and the citizens of Izalith was tragic, in fact thanks to what happened (I will explain in her lore post) we have the demons found in Lordran, it certainly deserved a more fitting representation than The Bed of Chaos. It boggles the mind that such an important character had her battle reduced to such nonsense.
I am wracking my brain trying to come up with anything that is remotely positive about this overgrown pack of roots, nope nothing is coming to me, that is when you not that we are talking about an awful boss.
The fight itself is a simple affair, we must break the roots at either side of the bed in order to reach the centre where a squishy thing is waiting to be stamped on, sounds simple right? That’s because it is….. until the floor crumbles beneath your feet, this turns a dark souls boss fight into more of a platform puzzle with branches trying to push you into the bloody holes that are now forming throughout the damn room, I though I was playing a melee combat game not a platformer. Ooooh I just thought of the one tiny positive this fight has, your progression in the fight stays even if you die, saves you the hassle of needing to keep redoing a platform puzzle every single time. But the amount of time it can take to get back there can be rather irritating when you know there are a bunch of over grown weeds just waiting to knock you down that hole all over again…. Sure once you have done this fight once you will know where the floor is going to fall but that doesn’t make the fight any better or enjoyable. Another key reason for hating this fight, it is not enjoyable at all. Oh and lets not forget those damn firestorms that we get attacked with upon destroying the second bunch of roots, utter garbage.
If there is one fight I am dreading come May 25th when the remastered version comes out it’s this one, I actually kind of like Izalith so for me it’s a real shame knowing that this…root…weed….. annoying stick thing? Is waiting for me. Sorry if this post felt a little ranty but this is one battle I just can’t get on with, I will release a much more positive post soon in the form of the lore and backstory to the Witch of Izalith.